Ride or die.

Early summer is the season of birthdays. 

Before heatwaves, and sunburns; when you're still excited about camping, long days, and rolling the windows down in your car. 

I spent this last weekend of birthday season at a nudie beach. 

It was totally an accident, we couldn't find parking on Sauvie Island until we got to the "clothing optional" part of the beach. My friends and I decided to shrug our shoulders and swim in the Columbia even if we had to do it next to a bunch of old man wieners. 

Earlier that day, I'd already visited my mother at the neighborhood garage sale, made $100 by selling a few of my things, gone to an art class where we talked about using basic shapes to get likenesses. 

Amelie II: Judgement Day

Amelie II: Judgement Day

Then I went to the pharmacy to register my new insurance, and pick up some medication. 

After that, I decided that I'd earned a little sunbathing. It was worth it—I'd never been to a nudie beach before!. 


After coming home from drinking raspberry cider with everyone at a cart-pod, I babysat the kids I nanny for so their parents could have a night out. 

The next day, June 28th, I had a call time of 6:30am 45 minutes drive from my house. The other PA and I stopped for coffee on the way over so we wouldn't faint from tired. We both worked until 1:30pm so I could get back to Portland in time for one of the kiddo's birthday parties. 

Birthday party, then pizza/poetry workshop with the amazing Clementine von Radics, then Portland Poetry Slam. 

I finally had a breath, and was able to check my tumblr. June 28th. JUNE 28TH. OH SHIT IT'S JUNE 28TH. 

I run a blog dedicated to Gilda Radner, I have her name tattooed on my body, and I'd totally forgotten her birthday. I couldn't go to sleep at night in high school if I hadn't spoken with her first, and I used to recite lines from her sketches every day at lunch. Knowing she'd been robbed of her life made me want to live that much more. Her work provides me with so much comfort, and I feel like she's one of my best friends. My ride or die. 

In years past, I've made her birthday cakes, written love poems for her, had art contests dedicated to her memory... I even reached out to her best friend and fellow SNL Alum Alan Zweibel to let him know that people still cared about her. 

This year, I just let the ball drop. I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but it's weird thinking that at one point I had so much time in my life to dedicate to loving this dead woman, and now I just have other things to do. 

Monday the 29th came around, and I was able to celebrate another ride or die birthday. I didn't even forget about this one.

I'm so happy I have a friend like Hannah. I feel like she's the other half of my Plato Symposium quote. If we fused our gemsonas, we'd blind everyone with our awesomeness. (Plus Emeralds and Alexandrites together are stunning, like us!) 

I'm sure Gilda will forgive me from the great beyond for not eating an entire funfetti cake in her honor. Forgetting someone's birthday isn't the worst thing in the world. I still get to look at my tattoo whenever I want and feel good that I get to have her in my life. 

I feel the same for Hannah, she's always at the other end of my telephone. 

Celebrate your friendships, and forgive yourself for having to carry on with your life sometimes. It's hard, but you'll feel much better if you can go easy on yourself for a minute. 

Happy summer~!