Past good, future good.
Summer is here!
I feel like I've been daydreaming about it since January, and it's finally come to fruition. I feel so lucky, as I do every year before heat exhaustion sets in midway through July. Early summer always makes my heart swell. My birthday is late in spring, which may have something to do with it, but that's neither here nor there.
The other day as I was walking home from the grocery store, this song came up on my shuffle:
A few years ago, it was the song we tapped to during the summer session of my dance class.
Stomp, stomp, fl-ap ball change...
The choreography was simple, but I was so happy to be doing something in triplets! I remember having to miss class a lot that summer. One evening in particular, I was hanging out with Hannah and our friend Bridget. We went to grab a drink, and I was marveling that we were finally in the same city again, heart exploding with gratitude to be reunited with some of my created family. We went to Beauty Bar downtown, and after we'd listened to someone blow us away with his rendition of You've Got The Touch, we went into the photobooth.
When Raphael Saadiq came up on my phone, I was instantly filled with joy. I danced in circles on the way home as the sun streaked the clouds red during descent, trying not to spill milk in the process. That summer was wonderful, and it felt good to be reminded of it.
I started thinking: this feeling of goodness wasn't bittersweet, or nostalgic. I wasn't wishing I was back in the moments of that summer, I was glad that I'd lived through the hardships that came after, and wouldn't have to live them again. I was sad that I couldn't remember more of the choreography to our dance, but that was it.
I found myself excited about today. Now. Now me is dancing down the street with three more years of tap under her belt. Now me is financially independent from her parents. Now me has learned so much in the time since that summer.
Think about now you, and a time when you were truly, unequivocally happy. Even if it was just for a moment. What can you bring from that moment into your now? Even if it's just the warmth of your memory.
Maybe elements of past goodness will help foster future goodness?